Bummed......

yeah....I am......and I hate it. I want a change and it is not happening. I don't know...I guess maybe I am restless? Aaaagh! I need more time and it just is not there. This time of year is pure insanity in our house what with crazy schedules and all. I guess it is my schedule that I get so frustrated with. I do love my job - and I especially love the people - but I am getting burned out on the hours. I work three 12-hour days a week. We close at 8, but it is usually closer to 9 when I leave, which means the kids are in bed when I get home. That is 3 days a week I am not there for dinner or bedtime and I really don't like that. That means when I have a night off when I could go to a women's bible study, I don't want to go because I don't want to be away from my family for another night. I hate that anytime something comes up, I can't commit because I need to check my work schedule first. My days change every 2 weeks, so there is no consistency. I can't commit to things on a regular basis...like classes at the gym or activities at church because I would be there for 2 weeks and then have to be gone for 2 weeks. Not to mention I work one weekend a month.

There are good things though. I do enjoy being off all day the days I am off. I've been able to spend time with the girls, and during the summer, I can spend days with all of the kids. That part is nice -- I must admit. I can schedule dr. appts. on my days off and not have to take off. So really -- there are perks.

I am just focusing on the things I don't like. That is sooooo easy to do sometimes. I guess my glass is "half empty" right now. That is why I am bummed. I like consistency at home and I want my kids to have that, but they really don't right now. We don't have normal family meal times and at times things are so "helter-skelter"....it drives me nuts.

There is no solution....this is just how is has to be right now...but that doesn't mean I have to like it! :-( grrrrrrrrr.......

Thanks for "listening" to me vent! It's nice to do that sometimes!