Sorry...I've Been MIA!

I can't believe I went over a month without blogging...oops!  Time really has gotten away from me.  I honestly haven't been in a "blogging" mood.  Our house is so crazy, but I don't want to bore you with normal chaos.  Now, I COULD have used my blog to vent about crazy, demanding, self-centered, etc. people I have encountered, but that my friends, is pretty much an every day occurrance for me.  I have always been one to shoot off at the mouth but lately I have been trying VERY HARD to hold my toungue and just let it pass.  Don't get me wrong -- fireworks are going off in my head -- but I have done very well in restraining what I rant about.  I have decided in the long run it really doesn't matter.  My fuming isn't going to change anything. People are still doing to be ignorant, arrogant, self-centered, demanding, unreasonable, etc. You get the idea.  I really could care less.  The only thing that matters in my little world are the five worm bodies living under my roof (six if you count the furry one!)  At the end of the day, they are the ones I care about.  Nothing else is that important to me (well you know -- on earth -- as far as other people are concerned).  Time is too short to worry about the small stuff!  Make the BEST...make the MOST of every moment you can.  Other people aren't worth the stress! :-)

Thank You Jesus...

Right up there with "I Love You", I think "Thank You Jesus" are three of the most important.  Lately, my perspective has changed - in some areas at least. 

I grumble when the weekend approaches because unlike "normal" people, there is no such thing as a "relaxing" weekend at our house.  My husband has go to bed early Friday night because he as to be up early.  Friday nights (for the most part) and Saturday mornings are a wash because he works for his dad Saturday mornings.  I hate it.  We have been married (almost) 15 years and I have always hated it.  There has never been such a thing as curling up with the kiddos and watching cartoons, or going out for breakfast, or getting a jump on yard work, or even just being lazy.  He is gone before sun up and doesn't get back until lunch.  He breaks his neck to catch the end of a soccer game if it is a late one. It stinks.

Thank you Jesus for blessing me with a husband who loves and works hard for his family and always makes the most of every situation. I thank you that he is able to come home every night.  I thank you that he does not cheat and is an honest person with high morals and standards that he is passing down to his own sons.  Many others have spouses who are abusive, non-caring, or have been taken from their families too early.  I am beyond blessed...

There are days I feel like if Ava or Sarah yell "Mom!!!" one more time, my head is going to explode!  Once they bound through the door, (and I am not exaggerating) I am unable complete a single thought in my head the rest of the day. Ava is forever testing her boundaries. 

Thank you Jesus that (at least for today) my kids are healthy and  can speak to me and call my name.  So many children are sick and in the hospital for various diseases who cannot speak, or communicate with the parents who love them and would trade the world to take their place.  So many others long to have a child and are unable to conceive.  There are parents whose hearts are literally broken because their child was taken unexpectedly....much too early.  You have given me four and I love them more than words could ever express.  They are the light of my life and I am in awe that you have given them to me.    

I get frustrated when I miss things because of my work schedule.  I always feel like I let my kids down if I can't drive for every field trip, or be at every class party.  Sometimes I can switch things around, but I'm not always so lucky.  Granted, there aren't many things I miss, but still... I hate hearing the disappointment in the girls voices when they ask,  "Mommy, will you be home before we go to bed?" and I have tell them "no".

Thank you Jesus that I have a job that I (for the most part) enjoy.  So many people are struggling to find work these days.  Thank you for this provision. Help me to be content where I know you have led me, and use me to minister to others.

Three words...bad.hair.day!

Thank you Jesus for my health.  I know many who are battling cancer and would give anything just to be able to have a "bad hair day". 

I remember when we moved into our house a year ago, the walls were freshly painted, the carpet (although far from being new) was clean, and the whole place was immaculate!  Now, a year and a half later, (thanks to four kids, a couple of sippy cups and a new puppy) there are carpet stains, finger prints on door frames and some inconspicuous crayon marks.  It is far from immaculate.  I remember how it looked the first time we saw it and sometimes I grumble (under my breath) when I see how um - "lived in" it looks.  I don't know why.  There are six of us living there for goodness sake...plus a dog!  I guess I will always be a little OCD...

Thank you Jesus for house full of love, noise and laughter.  There are so many "signs of life" here.  My goal is not to impress anyone, but to make everyone who enters to feel welcomed.  Spills and spots are so trivial in the grand scheme of things!

Lord, I know my life circumstances could change in the blink of an eye, but just for today - for this moment - I thank you for all the little things that tend to drive me crazy.  In the end, they really are just trivial things that I (ashamedly) take for granted.  I don't deserve any of this. Thank you for blessing me beyond measure...my cup truly overflows.

The "Cliff Notes" Version

It's been a whole two weeks (and then some) since my last post...so let's do a quick catch up ~ shall we?

Birthday for me -- best part being the "little things" from my family.  My kids DO like me! :-)

Soccer started for Josh and Sarah.  I love watching them! 

Ava started ballet.  My little "delicate flower" loooves Carrie Jean!

Zachary is in full swing with cross country.  I am so proud of his determination and dedication!  Each week his times and placement get better! 

Josh auditioned for the school play - still waiting to hear about that.

My first "Mom's In Touch" (for Crosswind) meeting is tomorrow...I'm excited!

Lot's of "firsts" this week....more about that later! :-)

Lots of "friends" time...and more to come next week.

Lunch date with hubby last week.  Loved it!  Nothing like uninterrupted time together...so refreshing!

Loved watching tv Friday night with oldest son piled on top of me - he will never be too old or too big :-)

Frustrated with certain aspects of life...but trying to learn to be content with where I am right now.

My love for Target gets deeper every day...it is my happy place...and having Starbucks inside is bonus ~

I am also developing a love for tennis shoes - particularly running shoes.  The flashier the better!

Love to "blog stalk".  I will catch up on friends blogs, then check out their friends blogs, etc.  I like "real" blogs...people who are honest about what they are going thru, how they feel about things, etc.  I hate reading blogs written by people who make you think that woodland creatures are cleaning their house and the fairy godmother is making dinner....

Trying to juggle work, schedules, and quality time = failure most of the time.  My friends make me believe they do it with no problem, so why am I struggling with it?  Some of us have to work outside the home....(insert guilt here)....

I have decided Ava needs a personal assistant for our morning routine.  If she is left alone for a split second she is off playing in her room, or with Bernie, etc.  She is on her own schedule and just moves along as she deems necessary.  "Hurry up" is NOT in her vocabulary.  Neither is "WE HAVE GOT TO GO!!!"

My garage is hideous....must get rid of LOTS OF STUFF!!

I think my walls in my house need to be chocolate brown...that would hide a multitude of sins! Come to think of it, maybe the carpet should be chocolate brown too...

My laundry basket was empty last week....for about 3 minutes....but that was a glorious 3 minutes...

Warm Fuzzies

There's nothing like a birthday to make you feel all warm and fuzzy....even on a mild September day!  I have had the best birthday...and it wasn't because of gifts or anything like that.  It was because of all the little things....the posts on my Facebook wall from people I have known for years or even a few months.  No really....it is amazing how taking a few seconds to just write "Happy Birthday" on someone elses' wall can make a huge impact (spoken from the one on the receiving end!)

The best has been my own little family.  I love my family...really I do.  They gave me the best cards,and Josh even gave me cash for a present!  It was HIS cash too - not like he went to his dad and "borrowed" it.  If you know Josh, that is HUGE!!!  He hand-made his card...wrote a poem and took up all four sides of the paper!  It was really funny...I'm going to scan it and keep it...maybe even find a way to frame it.  He made videos of everyone (individually and as a group) singing "Happy Birthday" to me.  They ALL went out of their way to make me feel so very special ~ and it worked!

I love my little family....they give me "warm fuzzies".......

:-)

A Reminder....

I really wanted to just post a link to this (because I take no credit for it whatsoever), but there is no "direct" link.  It is a daily devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministires.  I actually read this on a friend's blog and to me it really was a pull-you-up-by-your-bootstraps-slap-you-in-the-face gentle reminder of something I have always known but so very much needed to be reminded of right now.  I'm not even going to elaborate....just read the devotion for yourself.  It is long, but well worth the read:

“…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:5b (NIV)



I spent months working on it, with big expectations and high hopes. In the blink of an eye it was crushed. This reality tore into my heart like a jagged knife, ripping my dream into tiny little shreds. Disappointment was so great it was difficult to process my feelings. I had worked tirelessly on this project and now I felt disappointment and rejection. 

Disappointment soon turned to irritation which morphed into resentment. I didn’t FEEL it was fair.


Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Why had He placed a dream in my heart only to allow it to crumble? Why had He let this happen? Why me?

I knew I needed to have a good attitude and not give up, but I did not FEEL like doing that at all!


Questions pummeled my brain. What is the use? Why try again? If God didn’t answer my prayer after all this time, why bother keep trying?


I allowed my FEELings to overtake my FAITH.

All I could think about was how this disappointment made me feel, instead of what God may be doing that my faith could not see. I felt things weren’t fair, without remembering God’s ways are best. I felt a longing for immediate results, instead of trusting God’s timing is perfect.


My feelings had gotten in the way of my faith, so I turned to Psalm 25 (NIV) for perspective. The following verses washed over my spirit.

Verse 1, “In you, LORD my God, I put my trust.”

I felt discouraged, unworthy, hopeless, rejected. So I poured my feelings and my soul out to God. And He listened.

Verse 2, “I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.”

God reminded me to trust Him, not a desire or a dream. Not the world’s view. Not my abilities. Not my timeframe. Not my ideas. Trust Him alone. I prayed about my enemies—intangible feelings such as self doubt, insecurity, frustration, and discouragement.

Verse 3, “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.”

Regardless of whether or not my desires become a reality, I will not be put to shame, because God is my God. If His plans coincide with my dreams, I know He will keep His eternal promises.

Verses 4-5a, “Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,”

These words stopped me in my tracks. I began to think more rationally. Why did I beat my head against a wall? Why was I consumed with anxiety and frustration? Was I allowing God to direct my paths? God gently reminded me He is the teacher, I am the student.

Verse 5b, “…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

If I put my hope in my own desires and abilities, I set myself up for failure. My only hope for joy and fulfillment comes from Christ alone. Hope is found in Him, not people, a career, your husband or children, church, financial success, a carefree life, or dreams that come true.


Disappointments will happen. With God, however, we can turn those disappointments into God’s appointments to trust Him. The first step is to exercise faith over feelings.


"Dear Lord, You know the hurt in my heart and the sting of disappointments I have experienced. Please help me trust You, instead of being consumed by feelings. Empower me with a faith that is stronger than my emotions. In Jesus’ Name, Amen."

Already?

No really...it can't be that time already?  I distinctly remember holding my newborn babies in my arms in the hospital and thinking I had FOREVER with them.  School?  That was light years away!  (Cindy Pillow -- I know you remember this too!!!!) Now look where I am...a semi "empty nester"!  All four are in school.  Sarah started kindergarten and Ava is now in K-4.  No more little voices at home asking for a snack or chocolate milk or for me to watch a movie with them.  On the flip side that are no little voices at home protesting when I tell them to leave the dog alone or to brush their teeth or to brush their hair or please get in the car because we have to leave NOW!  I can honestly say I am quite conflicted.  I miss them....terribly!  I think of all the things I "wish" I had done, and yet I think of all the things I will be ABLE to do with much more ease!  One thing I do not regret is keeping Ava at home with me last year.  In spite of all the power struggles, I really liked having her around and I know she liked her "mommy" time!  I love my "Bitsy"!  I love my "Sissy" too (as well as Zachary and Josh), but you get the idea.  A momma bird knows when her babies are ready to leave the nest, and mine most definately are.  It's time for them to spread their wings and see what they can do!  I'm just praying that this year is blessed...that they have teachers who love them, nurture them, and challenge them... that they make new friends and are a blessing to others as well...that the older ones are aware of how their choices impact others...that they continue to seek the Lord's face in all they do...that they are not easily influenced but rather are an influence on those around them...

So far things are off to a great start...no one needs their wings clipped.....YET!  :-)

So It Begins

School that is....for one of my four kiddos.  Josh started yesterday - at full throttle too.  He not only went all day - but he rode the bus - and is at a new school this year.  Personally, I find all that a little overwhelming, but for his flexible self, it was just another day.  He had a great day and I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief.  He was beside himself because he has a former classmate from his old school in his class, and then saw two others at lunch.  I think he just like the fact that 2 kids were calling "Hey Josh!" in the cafeteria! :-) This morning he was up and had made his lunch before I even made it to the kitchen.  Then he left for the bus stop without me having to tell him!  I just wonder how long that will last .. haha!

And then there is the whole bus thing.  He LOOOVES riding the bus!  I'm not sure why, but it makes him happy and I am realizing that I like not having to go thru car line.  Our stop is the last one on the way to school and the first one after school, so he is really on there for literally 10 minutes or less.  Sarah is going to be riding to and she cannot wait! 

So one down and three to go.  Sarah goes for her K-5 "stagger" day on Thursday, and Ava has her K-4 stagger day on Friday.  I have heard from reliable sources about what is happening this week and it sounds like Thursday I am going to be one big puddle! All my chicks are growing up!  I'm not sure to be :-)           or :-( ......