LOTS To Be Thankful For!

I really do....I have a happy healthy family ("happy" might be questionable depending on who you ask...ha!), I have a job (even though I might not like all aspects of it - I am still quite thankful for it!), I have a devoted husband and father (which seems to be a rare thing these days), a roof over my head, food in my fridge, a vehicle to drive, $$ in the bank (not a lot, but enough for us!). Yes, things are very good. Even though I might look at my glass as "half-empty" sometimes, in reality it is very much full. We do have much to be thankful for again this year.

Things have taken a different turn this year, which does make me sad. This this the first holiday season without my grandmother. It really won't be the same. Even though she really wasn't able to cook for a couple of years, I still miss all her cooking. She made the BEST dressing (although Uncle Terry and Aunt Jan can duplicate it!), and at Christmas she would make all kinds of treats....peanut brittle (so glad she taught my mom how to do it!), "Trash" as she called it -- just some Chex mix, but still good -- divinity, and other assortments of chocolate covered items. Then, we usually go to Charles' grandmother's for Thanksgiving, but that was cancelled this year b/c she went into the hospital yesterday. She is having to have her medicines regulated....she has been having problems with them all "working against each other" as her dr. put it. Supposedly it will only be for a couple of days....lets hope so! EVERYONE loves to go to her house for Thanksgiving....Zachary has been talking about it for weeks! He handled it okay....we will get together in a few weeks for Christmas, so it's all good!

I hope you all have a blessed holiday...and remember all you have to be thankful for - because you DO have LOTS to be thankful for!

Bummed......

yeah....I am......and I hate it. I want a change and it is not happening. I don't know...I guess maybe I am restless? Aaaagh! I need more time and it just is not there. This time of year is pure insanity in our house what with crazy schedules and all. I guess it is my schedule that I get so frustrated with. I do love my job - and I especially love the people - but I am getting burned out on the hours. I work three 12-hour days a week. We close at 8, but it is usually closer to 9 when I leave, which means the kids are in bed when I get home. That is 3 days a week I am not there for dinner or bedtime and I really don't like that. That means when I have a night off when I could go to a women's bible study, I don't want to go because I don't want to be away from my family for another night. I hate that anytime something comes up, I can't commit because I need to check my work schedule first. My days change every 2 weeks, so there is no consistency. I can't commit to things on a regular basis...like classes at the gym or activities at church because I would be there for 2 weeks and then have to be gone for 2 weeks. Not to mention I work one weekend a month.

There are good things though. I do enjoy being off all day the days I am off. I've been able to spend time with the girls, and during the summer, I can spend days with all of the kids. That part is nice -- I must admit. I can schedule dr. appts. on my days off and not have to take off. So really -- there are perks.

I am just focusing on the things I don't like. That is sooooo easy to do sometimes. I guess my glass is "half empty" right now. That is why I am bummed. I like consistency at home and I want my kids to have that, but they really don't right now. We don't have normal family meal times and at times things are so "helter-skelter"....it drives me nuts.

There is no solution....this is just how is has to be right now...but that doesn't mean I have to like it! :-( grrrrrrrrr.......

Thanks for "listening" to me vent! It's nice to do that sometimes!

Hmmmmm....

I don't know if any of you read any of the blogs that are on my blog list on the left side of my blog, but I do encourage you to read "My Charming Kids" by "McKmama". I don't know her personally, but I have been following her blog for about 7 months now. She too has 4 kids, and her youngest - Stellan - was born with SVT (rapid heart rate). It's a long story, but the short of it is he has had several bouts that have required several hospital stays....some lengthy. This little guy has lived through more than the average adult will ever see - he truly is a miracle baby!

Anyway - Stellan was rushed to the hospital last Tuesday night with a severe bout of SVT -- in fact, they could have easily lost him had his parents not checked on him. He spent his first birthday fighting for his life in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) where he is currently residing in a hospital in his hometown. McKmama is a Christian, and one of the things I love about her blog is that she is soooo very real. She bares her soul on her blog. She talks about struggles with family, finances, faith...you name it! All this to say, a couple of days ago, she wrote a very lengthy blog about the point of praying. I loved it, and I encourage you to click on her link and scroll thru the sweet pics of Stellan and his first birthday "party" he had in the PICU to read it yourself. She brought to life many questions that I - and I am sure many of you - have had about prayer. More specifically...."What is the point?" I feel God knows the outcome anyway, so why bother? I pray because I feel led to, but in the back of my mind sometimes I think, "God isn't going to change his mind, so why do this?" I will take one quote from her..... I think it is very insightful:

"Maybe the point of prayer, if it isn't to get God to do what we want, is instead to bring ourselves into alignment with God so that we can be close enough to Him to be okay with what He decides instead of feeling like we need to try to get our way. "

Anyway....I'd be curious to know your thoughts....ever feel like that too? Ever get frustrated? Silly question...I'm sure you do!

Just Another Day....

Okay - for my out of town friends, let me just give you a re-cap of what has been going on here in Memphis so you will know why I am rambling on and on. If you want to see the "real deal", log onto one of our news websites (wmctv.com, myfoxmemphis.com, or wregtv.com) to see some video or keep up with what is going on.

Earlier this week, a 23 year-old mother left 2 of her children (ages 3 and 2) home alone while she and the children's aunt left to supposedly go drop someone off....other reports say they were shopping. It really doesn't matter though - the point is the children were left home alone. Consequently, there was a fire and the 3 year-old died and the 2 year-old is in very critical condition. As of now, no one knows how the fire started. Just another defining moment in Memphis news basically. What made me so mad was actually watching the news reports the next day. The aunt was interviewed and said .... I kid you not......that she really wanted to get into the house and see if her purse burned up because her food stamps card was in there. I was so shocked! She had absolutely no remorse whatsoever. It was scary to see someone so calloused. She HAD to be on something! Then, they show a clip of the mother. She was weeping and wailing and falling out on the ground. Now THAT really ticked me off. It is way too late to play the "concerned mom" card. You lost the right to act like that the moment you left those babies alone. I was livid! And then to find out that the door was locked and windows nailed shut? I just can't imagine. It isn't like we are talking about a young teenage mom...she also has a 5 year old who fortunately was in school at the time. That child is now in state custody. There is no telling how many times the mom left all three alone to go do whatever she wanted. I just can't imagine....my girls are 3 and 2 and there is no way on earth I would leave them alone in the house for ANYTHING! Geesh...even when I take a shower I lock them in my room so I can hear them at all times. The thought of leaving them alone to fend for themselves....I just can't even go there. My heart aches for the family, but I'm sorry - that was just pure stupidity on the part of both "adults". I guess it is just a sign of how bad things have become in our society. People are so selfish and uneducated. It is so sad to know that someone so young has to pay for the ignorance of the mother.

So anyway...as a result....I vow to not watch the news again. I always get ticked off at something. A couple of weeks ago I was mad because of the court case in California over the park ranger who was suing because he was forced to look at a cross - which was actually a war memorial - while at work. Oh please! Give me a break! He can't stand to look at a cross, but I'll be willing to bet he has no problem spending the currency in his pocket that has "In God We Trust" emblazened across it. Hypocrit....

Anyway...I'm going to take lots of deep cleansing breaths and focus on my own sweet brood! I sure do love my family! We are going to attempt to have outdoor family pics made tomorrow. I don't see how people who plan an outdoor wedding do it! I am already on the verge of an ulcer! Planning on who wears what...and then I realize "Oh Yeah! What am I going to wear?" Ugh! All I can say is -- thank goodness for Photoshop! :-)

Do-Over Day

I decided yesterday needed to be a "do-over day". At the end of the day, I just wasn't happy with myself - and I am sure the kids (really just the girls) weren't to thrilled either. I was grouchy...to the point I went in and apologized to Sarah after I had put her to bed. Of course she was all-forgiving, and I knew by morning she would have forgotten everything - it was to make me feel better I guess. You know, moms have bad days too -- just like kids do -- but sometimes it is hard to accept that it is okay. You don't want to ensure a spot in therapy for your kids just because you had a bad day. I can't stand the thought of my kids going to sleep feeling like I am the bad guy - especially when it wasn't even their fault. Charles and the boys were gone from 7:15 in the morning until 8:30 at night...probably a good thing! Ava is just all over the place and into everything. If something is put up, she pulls it out...shoes....purses....socks....toys....tupperware...you name it. Yet at the same time, she is stuck to me like velcro! How does that happen??? And if I hear "NO! I DO IT!" one more time???? Ava flat out refuses to let you do ANYTHING for her. She has to know she can't do it herself before she will let you come near her (sigh). Sarah really isn't as busy. Our biggest struggle right now is a potty training issue. She is pretty much potty trained - day and night - she just doesn't want to "poop" in the potty. Give her a diaper and she'll go (again - sigh). I wasn't going to give in to her request for a diaper, but I didn't know if all the crying was from her being afraid or not being able to go. Let's just say she is afraid. I have one more trick up my sleeve....I'll see if it works.

So you see, life is not all butterflies and sunshine at our house. I know that comes as a huge shock - ha! Just remember that it is okay to have a bad day. If you get extreme - just be sure to apologize - even to the little ones. It's all worth it to feel those little arms around your neck! I love my family - and I'm glad they love me - even on my "grouchy" days! :-)

A Day In The Life Of.....

Charles & I have always kidded that we should have some sort of web cam in our house because the strangest things seem to happen and no one would ever believe us if we told them.  Sometimes I don't even think the writers for "Seinfeld" could come up with this material.  Let me just give you a run-down of all the happenings starting from about 6:30 Monday night til about 6:30 Tuesday night.

If you are not on Facebook, then you didn't see my status Monday night when I posted about Ava eating dark brown sugar straight from the box.  She was covered in it and incredibly sticky.  Probably wouldn't have been so bad if  I weren't at work and Charles needed to leave the house in 10 minutes to take the boys to karate.  To top it off, when he did put her in the tub, she had pooped in her diaper and a "piece" fell between her toes...got squished...yeah - I was glad I was at work!

On my way home from work that night, I was pulled over by the ever-so-observant Collierville police because I had a headlight out (Charles' car).  No ticket - just a warning.  I told him a security guard at work had told me about it and I was going to be getting it fixed.  Didn't tell him that the security guard told me that a week ago.....

Next morning -- usual chaos getting the boys up & out the door...then getting the girls and their lunches ready for MDO.  Get there (they go to First Assembly) - and Charles tells me Zachary is in his office -- sick with a fever and headache...nice.  First thought was flu (fever, headache, and sudden onset are symptoms), but I took him to my work and he was negative -- whew!  He's still not feeling well and running a temp - not sure what's going on, but it will have to run its course.

I go to the dentist....the machine they use to polish your teeth went out after the girl had already cleaned my top teeth.  She then proceeded to clean my bottom teeth...with a toothbush.  Now I know how Sarah & Ava feel when we go after them with a toothbrush!  Oh - and on top of that, I had some sort of cavity or something -- I don't even remember what they called it, but it is something that will have to be "filled".  Doesn't hurt....won't have to be drilled...whatever.

Next I go to Wal-Mart....was really pumped because I picked up some fried okra from the deli....then I was bummed when I got home and it tasted like it had been cooked 6 hours prior to my arrival...bleh!

Go to pick up the rest of the kiddos from MDO/school....Sarah & Ava are terrors...they always are after they come home on "school" days.  I'm seriously thinking about taking them out.  It isn't worth my sanity!

Josh talks me into going to Great American Cookie Co. on the way home.  I pick up cookies for everyone and then when I get home I realize my "free" cookie didn't make it into the bag....grrr!

The girls continue on their rampage all afternoon...ready to pull my air out!  Nothing satisfies them!

Charles comes home and then goes back outside to attempt to change the headlight.  You have to understand that in his car, this is no easy feat!  You have to get to it thru the wheel-well...major ordeal.  Anyway - 5 minutes after he goes outside the phone rings.  I was dealing with Ava and knew someone answered it -- cut to the chase -- Charles had busted in the garage and couldn't get up so he used his cell phone to call us to come help him!  Not a good memory -- the last time someone fell like that, 911 was called....I drove up to find an ambulance and fire truck in my driveway....makes me shudder!  He was okay though...very sore, but okay.

We come inside and while trying to pry my daughters out of the refrigerator, I'm pretty sure I broke my pinky toe on said refrigerator.  I'm going to x-ray it when I go to work tomorrow.  It is sporting some beautiful shades of blue and purple...unlike the pretty pink one on the other foot!

Sarah and I start to butt heads over a potty training issue.  She is doing GREAT...but she will NOT poop in the potty.  She knows she gets a huge treat when she does, but something about it scares her...she says her "booty hurts"...yet put a diaper on her and she has no trouble.  Sigh..

At that point, I told everyone to pick their favorite cereal for dinner.  I had no energy to fix the veggies and baked fish I had originally planned.  Afterwards, it was baths/showers/bed for all little people.  I was never so happy to see 9:00 come!

So anyway...see what I mean?  These kinds of things go on all the time!  Now you understand when I can't remember things....lots of things!  My brain never gets a rest!  It's crazy over here!  It's not all bad....when I was giving the girls a bath (separately), Ava is singing "Jesus Loves Me" and Sarah is singing "I'm In The Lord's Army".  Even in all the chaos, I know I am blessed.  I can kiss and hug my family, and they can kiss and hug me back.  We are all safe under one roof.  I am not promised that tomorrow or the next day I can say that, but for tonight I can -- and I plan on making the most of it.  I don't want any regrets because I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  :-)

Tooth Fairy & Tiaras

That's about as clever as I could get with the title....and believe it or not, the two really aren't even related! We've been so busy....school started and I have had the hardest time adjusting. I hate getting up early..the boys are getting older and gone are the days of them bouncing out of bed - although out of the two, Josh really is the best about getting up on his own. It used to be the other way around. Zachary now has to practically be blasted out of bed on school mornings! Our lives now feel so rushed all day every day. I hate that. Moving on....

We've been to the dentist, got haircuts, birthday parties, shopping trips to Target....normal stuff. Josh lost a tooth - actually, he had Zachary pull it! I just can't imagine - I would have never let anyone touch my mouth to pull a tooth. I pulled my own teeth thank-you-very-much! Anyway -- he's really cute, he lost one of his top 2 teeth, so he has a touch of a lisp! He got $15 (thx to someone other than mom & dad) for that joker...a far cry from the .50 cents I got when I was a kid! When I took him to the dentist, Dr. Prine told me he would have to (in layman's terms) have part of his gum removed that is between his 2 front teeth. This doesn't have to be done until he loses his other top tooth though. If we don't do it, he will have a gap between his teeth. The verdict is still out on whether or not he will need braces. He hasn't lost enough teeth to be able to tell. Zachary is good though...he has great teeth - whew!

On the other hand, the girls have been playing dress-up in their princess outfits constantly! Sarah is forever asking Zachary to marry her....so cute! Zachary will say, "I now pronounce you brother & sister." They crack me up. Sarah is obsessed with princess things...she is 110% girl! Ava is right behind her - doing whatever "Sissy" does. They went to a "Tea Party" birthday party last weekend for their friend Lily. Those girls had a great time. Ava grazed on cookies and PB&J cut-out sandwiches, Sarah just loved being with her "gal-pals"! I am once again going to to try to potty train next weekend. I'm dreading it...maybe because I'm going to do Sarah & Ava together. Why not? Yeah - my work will be cut out for me, but if I can do it....it will be well worth the loss of my sanity! I found a 3-Day Potty Training booklet on-line. It supposedly works...has great testimonials....and the lady who wrote it gives you e-mail support. The only major problem I see now is that Sarah WILL NOT - I repeat...WILL NOT even attempt to go poo-poo in anything but a diaper. Not quite sure how I'm going to handle that. I need to see if the booklet addresses that. So that - my friends - is how I plan on spending my 4-day weekend! No really - don't be jealous!

So anyway - that is what's happening with us these days. I'm so glad I am off tomorrow. We NEVER have a day that we can all sleep in as a family and just do what we want. Literally- except for a holiday - there is not one day that Charles and I are home on the same day where we can sleep in. He works every Saturday and Sunday we are up & running for church. I had wanted to work in the yard, but a small part of me hopes it rains! I don't want it to rain on my birthday, but nothing beats sleeping in on a rainy day. You know I am right!