Saturday, November 22, 2008

Talk About Extreme....

When I think about what I was doing 2 weeks ago, and what I am doing now, it is depressing!  Two weeks ago, Charles & I were in Mexico...lots of sun...great food...no worries.  Today, it's freakin' cold, I think the last thing I ate was popcorn - yesterday, and my mind is in a tailspin!  Charles had major surgery Thursday and won't be home for several more days, which I just cannot stand.  I hate that he is in pain, I hate that he can't hear (will address that later), and I hate trying to sleep without him here with me.  I just can't!  Isn't that pitiful?  Am I the only one like that?  I usually keep the t.v. on all night and sort of doze.  Each day is getting better - for him...thank goodness!  I do not want to re-live Thursday for anything.  Let me tell you all about my day....

We checked into the hospital around 11.a.m. and still had to wait over an hour for him to be called back.  It was almost an hour after that before I could go back with him (thanks for sitting with me Traci!)  Let me just add here that I already felt like a rubber band about to SNAP!  I was stressed - about the surgery - about the kids - and so much more!  When I get this way, I get snippy (I know, me?  snippy?  Hard to imagine isn't it?)  Unfortunately, Charles was the only one around for me to take it out on.  I know, automatic nomination for "Worst Wife of 2008".  He knows I'm stressed, and is used to my quirkiness (thank God).  Here he is, waiting to have major surgery and he tells me, "Honey, it's all going to be okay."  Well, then I lost it, because I realize I have officially WON the title of "Worst Wife of 2008" (no other applicants need to apply!)  I should be the one telling him it's all going to be okay!  "Hello, my name is Rene', and I am scum!"

I collect myself, he answers the same questions a thousand times to different people (talk about CYA!), all is well, and he gets whisked away.  I wait in the waiting room with Charles' mom & later his dad joins us.  I get called with updates every hour, and finally Dr. Miller calls when he out of surgery.  Everything went well and he was doing fine.  He was in recovery and they would call us "in about an hour" with his room number.  That hour turned into almost 3!  While we waited though, I was reminded of how blessed I really am.  The waiting room was almost empty and I noticed 2 dr.s came out and talked to this really cute lady I had seen while Charles was in his little "holding area" prior to surgery.  They talked to her for a really long time and then I saw her start to cry.  Her friend who was with her put her arms around her and hugged her, then the dr.s hugged her, they talked a little more, then it was just her & her friend.  Well of course it didn't take a genius to figure out something had gone wrong.  I went to the restroom and the lady's friend happened to come in after me and was on her cell phone (I was faced with the dilemma of "to-pee-or-not-to-pee"....you know those cell phones pick up EVERYTHING!)  Anyway, come to find out, this lady's husband must have had a tumor in his stomach that was supposed to have been removed, but when they got in there, his whole abdominal cavity was full of little tumors.  The dr.s just closed him back up and they were going to call in an oncologist.   I felt so sorry for her.  Her whole world was turned upside down in a matter of minutes.  All my problems were very small all of the sudden.  Ah, but then the ugly monster reared his head once more.  After Charles finally got into a room, the nurse told me they had to hold him in recovery b/c his sats were dropping.  He was in so much pain, and I was thinking what am I going to do?  I HAD to go home.  My mom had to get back to my grandmother, the kids had one more day of school, I still needed to wash uniform pants, Zachary had a sleepover to go to right after school, so he had clothes to get together, b'day invitations had be finished to be sent home in "Friday Folders"....but I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him!  Fortunately, I guess his dad picked up on my anxiety b/c he volunteered to stay.  During this time, they called an "Emory House" to a room right across the hall from his (that's hospital code for 'a patient is crashing').  I peeked out and the patient was actually a girl who had walked in right before us when we checked in.  I don't know what type of surgery she had done, but the fact that she had also just come out of surgery freaked me out.  Long story short, Charles gets his pain meds and is zonked, so I leave to go home.  I barely get to the car and I just fall apart.  The day was just too much.  Granted, I had it easier than others - we were blessed with good results - but at that time, it didn't matter.  

So let's fast forward.  Each day gets better.  Today he walked around the floor and even took a shower.  When I talked to him earlier, he was hurting again, so he probably did too much.  Another downfall is that he cannot hear - again.  His ears have filled up with fluid again and he really can't hear.  His friend Chris came and looked at his ears and prescribed 2 different sprays and a pill, so hopefully that will help.  Don't EVER fly if you have the slightest sign of a sinus infection!  Anyway - now I need to restore some sort of normalcy for my kids.  I remember my mom having several surgeries when I was little and I hated when she was in the hospital.  The boys are with me tonight (Josh went to bed at 7 feeling sleepy and having chills...I hope he is just tired!) and I will have all 4 back tomorrow.  I am so grateful for grandmas and family who don't mind keeping the kiddos!  I don't know what I would do without them!  I can't wait for all of us to be under one roof again!

So - that is what the last few days have been like in our household.  Charles has a looooong recovery ahead of him.  I guess at some point I need to start thinking about Christmas.  Right now I just feel all "Bah-Humbug" about the whole thing.  Seriously - Christmas is Charles' "thing".  He does the tree every year and it is amazing!  There is no way I can even get the stuff down from the attic, much less try to put it up!  Oh well - we are just going to have to take everything one day at a time and be grateful for the things we do have - especially good health!

1 comment:

all4boys said...

HE HAD SURGERY????????? FOR HIS EARS??????? Girl, why didn't you tell me?????? I am so sorry!!!! I completely understand because I was in your boat last year when Todd was in the hospital. I was all alone with him stuck in there for 5 days and me fighting off depression. AND taking care of the 4 kiddos and trying not to let them pick up on my fears. I just tried calling your cell~call me if you want to vent or just talk. Love you!