“…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:5b (NIV)
I spent months working on it, with big expectations and high hopes. In the blink of an eye it was crushed. This reality tore into my heart like a jagged knife, ripping my dream into tiny little shreds. Disappointment was so great it was difficult to process my feelings. I had worked tirelessly on this project and now I felt disappointment and rejection.
Disappointment soon turned to irritation which morphed into resentment. I didn’t FEEL it was fair.
Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Why had He placed a dream in my heart only to allow it to crumble? Why had He let this happen? Why me?
I knew I needed to have a good attitude and not give up, but I did not FEEL like doing that at all!
Questions pummeled my brain. What is the use? Why try again? If God didn’t answer my prayer after all this time, why bother keep trying?
I allowed my FEELings to overtake my FAITH.
All I could think about was how this disappointment made me feel, instead of what God may be doing that my faith could not see. I felt things weren’t fair, without remembering God’s ways are best. I felt a longing for immediate results, instead of trusting God’s timing is perfect.
My feelings had gotten in the way of my faith, so I turned to Psalm 25 (NIV) for perspective. The following verses washed over my spirit.
Verse 1, “In you, LORD my God, I put my trust.”
I felt discouraged, unworthy, hopeless, rejected. So I poured my feelings and my soul out to God. And He listened.
Verse 2, “I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.”
God reminded me to trust Him, not a desire or a dream. Not the world’s view. Not my abilities. Not my timeframe. Not my ideas. Trust Him alone. I prayed about my enemies—intangible feelings such as self doubt, insecurity, frustration, and discouragement.
Verse 3, “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.”
Regardless of whether or not my desires become a reality, I will not be put to shame, because God is my God. If His plans coincide with my dreams, I know He will keep His eternal promises.
Verses 4-5a, “Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,”
These words stopped me in my tracks. I began to think more rationally. Why did I beat my head against a wall? Why was I consumed with anxiety and frustration? Was I allowing God to direct my paths? God gently reminded me He is the teacher, I am the student.
Verse 5b, “…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”
If I put my hope in my own desires and abilities, I set myself up for failure. My only hope for joy and fulfillment comes from Christ alone. Hope is found in Him, not people, a career, your husband or children, church, financial success, a carefree life, or dreams that come true.
Disappointments will happen. With God, however, we can turn those disappointments into God’s appointments to trust Him. The first step is to exercise faith over feelings.
"Dear Lord, You know the hurt in my heart and the sting of disappointments I have experienced. Please help me trust You, instead of being consumed by feelings. Empower me with a faith that is stronger than my emotions. In Jesus’ Name, Amen."